A Self-Loving Approach to Goal Setting

Do you ever set goals and fail to achieve them? Or have you ever set yourself a goal and achieved it, only to feel underwhelmed and strangely apathetic about it all? Do you like setting New Year’s resolutions? Or does the very thought of them make you cringe?

In this episode of You Are Infinitely Loved, we talk about our relationship to goal setting and how you can infuse more self-love into the process.

For many people, the New Year can be a positive time of reflection, where you pause to take stock of your achievements and learnings from the previous year and think about what you most want to create for the year ahead. It can be a time that feels inspiring and motivating, which gives rise to a lot of New Year’s Resolutions. But for the majority of people, the inspiration and motivation doesn’t last, with one study suggesting that only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals.

So what’s going on here? Why are so many people failing to follow-through on the resolutions that they set for themselves?

In this episode, we talk about some of the reasons this might be happening - from unhealthy goal-setting to the difference between goals and habits and why sometimes setting goals can actually be counterproductive to creating the changes we want to make.  We discuss the importance of intrinsic motivation, setting feelings-based goals and being kind to yourself in the pursuit of a goal.

Resources mentioned:

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/

Kristoffer “KC” Carter: On The Power Of Meditation To Cultivate A Loving Relationship With Yourself

In this episode, we chat to the amazing Kristoffer “KC” Carter, a meditation teacher, retreat leader, workplace culture consultant and transformational coach, who we believe is a great role model of self-love.

For anyone who’s had the pleasure of meeting KC, you’ll know he’s someone who is completely himself, totally unique and authentic in his expression, which makes him so fun to be around - his energy is magnetic. And this is one of the great benefits of having self-love - when you’re comfortable in who you are and you love and accept yourself, you have the freedom to be completely YOU in every moment, and that energy and spirit is irresistible. In this episode, we dive into the power of meditation to improve the relationship you have with yourself, which KC believes is one of the most highly intentional relationships you need to have in your life.

KC shares a helpful exercise called a Lens Statement, which is about crafting an overarching personal philosophy through which you see the world. It affirms who you are in your highest potential and becomes a beautiful and powerful way of talking to yourself.  

We talk about KC’s journey with self-love and how it started with him trying to become somebody that he wanted to spend time with. This simple way of approaching self-love has brought a sense of play to it all - KC mentions how he sees it as a big game to try and be someone whose company he enjoys.  

We also go into KC’s journey with sobriety and the way he defines the virtue of sobriety as being in complete alignment with your circumstances and not hiding anywhere. Sobriety has become so much more than just giving up drinking; it is something that KC moves towards in all aspects of his life because it deepens his relationship with himself and others.

Finally, we discuss all of the incredible benefits of meditation, from a scientific, physiological and spiritual perspective. KC talks about the connection to self-love and how meditation is really about the ability to be present with all of the noise in your head and redirect your awareness back towards the truth of your heart.

Stay tuned until the end of this episode, because KC guides us through a beautiful and powerful self-love meditation. And for anyone interested in beginning their meditation journey, or deepening it, then please join KC’s free 30 day meditation challenge in January 2019.

Resources mentioned:

Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/

KC's 30-Day Free Meditation Challenge: http://www.thisepiclife.com/30/

KC's TedX Talk: https://youtu.be/zcTKrDs2RAw?t=15216

Practicing Self-Love During The Holidays

The holidays can be a time of year when it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stretched for time.  There are so many different social activities, demands on your time and often family politics to navigate.  Whilst it can be a time that is full of gratitude, happiness and joy, there can also be a lot of really difficult emotions that come to the surface at this time of year.  Particularly for anyone who has experienced grief or loss, the holidays can be a reminder of those difficult times and loved ones who may no longer be around.

In this episode we talk about what it looks like to practice self-love during the holidays.  How can you create a holiday season that feels calm and peaceful rather than stressful and exhausting? We share simple tools that you can use to incorporate self-love into the month of December and make sure that you’re serving your own needs at this busy time of year.  We talk about healthy ways to process your emotions instead of numbing them, and Sam shares a simple way that you can start your day in a self-loving way by creating a morning routine. However and whatever you celebrate at this time of year, we wish you all a peaceful, joyful and (self) love-filled holiday season

Koes Bong: On Unemployment, Self-Worth, And Self-Love

In the world we live in, self-love and self-compassion are topics that are slowly becoming more popular and are being talked about amongst women, but it’s rare to find men that discuss these ideas.

In this episode we interview one of our co-founders, Koes, and get an insight into the world of self-love and self-compassion from a man’s perspective. What are the unique challenges that men face and why is it harder for men to access and discuss these ideas?

As we delve into Koes’ story, we learn how his upbringing in Indonesia, his family’s definition of success and the traditional way in which he viewed himself as the male breadwinner of the family all played a role in establishing his sense of worth.

For Koes, his self-worth was wrapped up in his intelligence and his ability to earn a lot of money, which meant that he put a lot of pressure on himself to be financially successful. So when Koes unexpectedly lost his job in November 2017, this became the ultimate test of his capacity to love himself and treat himself with compassion, and not equate his self-worth with his job and his financial success. Who was he really without all the labels?

We also look at Koes’ entry point into the world of self-love and self-compassion which came through attending Camp GLP, being exposed to new ideas, and confronting his long-held beliefs about himself and the world. Koes began meditating when he was at camp, which has become a daily practice for him, and has played a big role in his self-love and self-compassion journey. Koes shares his tips for anyone who wants to start a meditation practice and he also has a message for any men listening who think that self-love and self-compassion are not for them.

Meditation resources Koes shares:

KC’s 30 Day Meditation Challenge (https://www.thisepiclife.com/30/)

Insight Timer (https://insighttimer.com/)

Lindsay Bong: On Breaking Free Of The Need For The Approval Of Others

Do you feel as though you need to please everyone? Do you ever do things for other people because you want them to like and accept you? Do you put other people’s needs before your own and fear that if you start to put your own needs first and practice self-love that you’ll become selfish? Don’t worry, you are not alone. In this episode, you’ll hear the personal story of our co-founder, Lindsay, and how she broke free of the need to constantly serve others and win their approval.

Lindsay talks about the way in which she always felt that she had to work out what others needed from her and make sure she was meeting those needs so that they would like and accept her. She shares how this can make you forget who you are and deny your own needs and wants, essentially becoming invisible, in order to please others.  

We go into Lindsay’s upbringing, the role that her Christian faith has played alongside her journey of self-love, what happens when your self-worth is wrapped up in being of service to others, and how to show up in your relationships without expectations.  

We also talk about the way in which being a parent and wanting to instill a sense of self-love in her children became Lindsay’s gateway into realizing the importance of building her own self-love and self-compassion.

Lindsay shares how she builds her self-love or “fills her love cup”, as she puts it, and talks about her “joy diet”, which you’ll want to tune in for.

Sam Thomas: On Overcoming Poor Body Image Through Self-Love

Do you ever look in the mirror and not like what you see? Do you have a self-critical voice that kicks into gear and starts saying unkind things to your reflection? “You’re fat, you’re ugly, you have dark circles under your eyes, you look old, your hair looks terrible today etc. etc.” If you can relate to this type of negative self-talk or if you’ve ever struggled with poor body image, then this episode is for you.

In this episode of You Are Infinitely Loved, we interview one of the co-founders of the podcast, Sam Thomas, about her personal journey with self-love and how she was able to move from a place of high self-loathing and very poor body image to a place of complete self-acceptance and self-love.

We go back into Sam’s past, where the self-loathing began, how it continued and grew worse throughout high school, the way it showed up for her in her twenties and then we look at the pivotal moment when it was pointed out to Sam that there might be another way of looking at her body and a path to self-acceptance. Sam also shares her number one tool for turning down the volume on your negative self-talk, and why she believes that self-loathing (and NOT self-love) is one of the most selfish ways of being.

Welcome to the You Are Infinitely Loved Podcast

In this intro episode, the 3 co-founders of the project, Sam, Lindsay, and Koes talk about why they started this podcast and what their hopes and dreams are for the podcast going forward.

This is a podcast about self-love and self-compassion. What would your life look, feel, and be like if you went through the world with the belief that you are infinitely loved? How does self-love and self-compassion change your life? And more importantly, how do you go about building your self-love and incorporating these practices into your life? This is what Sam, Lindsay and Koes want to explore on the podcast and they’re so excited you’re here to join them.